Well, where to start my dear sirs! My investigations into the subtle communication systems established between a man and his dog are progressing most rapidly and I hope to update PP readers of these developments as soon as can be. I have, of late, also become more and more interested in the vocal expressions of the youth of today. In accordance with this burgeoning interest, I have been phonetically noting down the many curious branches of teenager-speak. These range from the very well-spoken young people of my neighbourhood who frequent the fancy bars and public houses, and who have rather a tendency to drawl, to the troublemakers who sit at the back of buses blasting strange indecipherable noises from an unseen source whilst talking loudly. Here is an example from the hundreds I have compiled thus far: 'Ah – dope – mahn. Ees eazee yeh, saw git wiv ma bro ...'. I am still working hard to translate many of these, including the above. I have also re ... (Cut – Ed.)